Electricity...by Alaina and Jacob

There are few days in our house where some miraculous, near-death experience isn't prevelant.

The other day was no exception.

The back story to this is Jacob's curiosity got the best of him and decided to put a staple (or some other metal object) into the outlet of their room {boom} flash of fire, out go the lights.

Taylor saw the flash and thought the room was going to catch on fire so naturally he started kicking the wall outlet repeatedly as to put out the 'flames'. (There were no flames but he is 10. I give him points for trying to save the house from burning down.)

Enter me.....I find that the breaker is tripped, the outlet cover-plate is smashed and the outlet is burned. Calmly (yes, I was calm at this part) I asked what happened.

Jacob: Um.....I put a staple in the light socket.

Me: Why would you do that?

Jacob: Um....I....Um....was curious and didn't know what it will do.

(this is where I lost it)

Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! YOU ARE 7 YEARS OLD!!!! WE HAVE OUTLET COVERS IN THE LITTLE TINY KIDS ROOMS BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW ENOUGH TO NOT PUT SOMETHING IN THE OUTLET!!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!!?!? IT COULD HAVE KILLED YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ELECTRICITY HITS YOUR HEART? IT STOPS, IT TURNS BLUE AND DIES AND YOU DIE. NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER PLAY WITH OUTLETS OR ELECTRICITY!!....GEEEZ KID, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF!!!!! DON'T PLAY WITH ELECTRICITY OR OUTLETS EVER AGAIN!!!!!

I was not happy.

Apparently the message got through because Jacob has been writing stories in his class about electricity and how it can kill you. I had all but forgotten the story, except yesterday, on my way to work, I was passing through the kitchen and found this on the table: (click on it to enlarge so you can read it.)



I had to laugh. The best points of the paper are when she said "He could have died. He didn't." and "Death is one of the worst things...." If Death is one of the worst things, there must be a list of 'things' somewhere. I want to see the list. The 'fun fact' was hilarious as well. Apparently Jacob commissioned Alaina to write this. They should write childrens books.

I guess my kids do listen to me....even if I am going overboard.

I love my kids.

14years ago today...

June 5 1996 was my very first date with my wife.

I was nervous because I had never had anyone that beautiful say yes to me asking them out....of course, she was 17 at the time and probably didn't know any better. I took her to our family cabin where my Grandpa and Grandma met her for the first time, made us hamburgers for dinner (which Catey asked for a second....she denies it but she did). After she ate two hamburgers and said she was a fan of Rush Limbaugh, my Grandfather put his arm around her and said "Welcome to the family!"

I didn't mind.

We took a walk down the winding dirt road past my uncle's cabin where she spun tails about her brothers, her sister that drove her crazy and about her days as a gymnast...her favorite was the balance beam. Shortly thereafter I was helping her across a fallen tree and she slipped and fell into my arms. I laughed and said something about she must not have been very good on the balance beam if she fell off a huge tree that easily.

I think it wasn't an accident.

Later, we drove the loop at the top of the canyon. The sun was gone and the moon was out. As we pulled around the Brighton loop and the moonlight came into the car, I stopped the car and just looked at her. It was truly, one of the most magical moments in my life. After just a few hours of spending time with this person, I fell harder and faster than ever before. It was sitting there that I told her she was something special.

I took her back to her car (later found out she lied to her parents and told them she was at WORK.....silly girls) and there it was I did the unexpected. I am rarely at a loss for words or find myself uncomfortable in my skin but I was bursting inside. After some small-talk, I blurted out "OK, I KNOW you want to kiss me....so go ahead"....she did. I thought my skin would catch fire when her lips met mine.....I still feel that way. We stood there and kissed for what seemed like hours. I asked her to nibble on my ear too....I figured I should get what I could while the getting was good.

A week later I found myself sitting with her. staring into her eyes again and I told her "I have been looking for my Eternal Companion all my life....are you her?" ....she thought for a moment and said she was....the rest is history.

We were enamored by each other from the very start, I didn't know what she saw in me, but I certainly knew what I saw in her. Here was the mental image of perfection...sitting in my car, standing in front of me, holding my hand, laughing at my stupid jokes, coming over to wake me up in the morning and not running away screaming.

I am still grateful for all she offers and brings to me. She truly is my fairy tale bride, I would be lost without her.

If God let me design a wife.....I could have never done that well.

That was the best first date I ever had....glad it was the last.

Swagger Wagon

I posted this on FB earlier....but I had to post it here.....this made me laugh and gave me hope in the humor of commercials to come....

THIS WAS FUNNY!!! IT WAS GREAT!!!



Lyrics:

This one goes out to all you minivan families out there.....Sienna SE…in the house.


Where my mother/fathers at? Where my kids at?
Where my kids at?


Where my kids at?


Where my kids at?


Where my kids at?


Where my kids at?

No, seriously honeywhere are the kids?


They’re right there.....see?


Oh, cool beans.

(DAD)


I roll hard through the streets and the cul-de-sacs,


Proud parent of an honor roll student, Jack.


I got a swing in the front, a tree house in the back,


My #1 Dad mug says, Yeah, Im the Mack.

(Mom)

I’m the world’s best nurse when my kids get sick,


I make a mean gel-mold, I perfected my tricks,


Back when I used to party as a college chick.


Now I’m cruising to their playdates lookin’ all slick…

(Chrous)


In my Swagger Wagon,


Yeah, the Swagger Wagon,


It’s the Swagger Wagon,


I got the pride in my ride.


In my Swagger Wagon,


Yeah, the Swagger Wagon,


It’s the Swagger Wagon.

(Dad)

Check it…

I love hangin’ with my daughter sippin’ tea, keep my pinky up,


All the drawings on my fridge sport an A+.


I’m an awesome parent, (Right!) and it’s apparent, (True!)


And in this house there’s no mother/father swearin’.

(Mom)


Straight owning bake sales with my cupcake skills,


I’m better with the money, so I handle the bills,


And I always buy in bulk, ain’t afraid of no spills.


Every Mother’s Day proves…I’m kind of a big deal.

(Daughter)

Mommy, I need to go potty.

(Mom)

Bring the beat back, ’cause, yo, I got more to say,


You know I’m always front and center at the school play.


I kiss their boo-boos, clean doggie doo-doos,


Cut the crust off of PB&Js, chill the Yoo-hoos.

(Dad)
Singin’ “Farmer in the Dell” in perfect harmony,


When I’m rollin’ with my posse in the HOV.


We rock the SE, not an SUV,


And it’s true, if I were you, I’d be jealous of me…

Sad to say.....but I want to go for a test-drive.....

-Aaron

The SarcMark



There it is folks....the new mark for sarcasm. I think it's a great idea....really. (Note no sarcmark at the end of that sentence.) I think it is a great way to interject sarcasm into a written sentence, because most have lost the understanding or 'gift' of sarcasm. Shall I give it a test run?.....ok.

I love my job

Life is a piece of cake

I love my wife.

School is interesting.

School is easy

Do you see how it works? Did you see how sarcasm is much better understood when a sarcmarc is used?....I think everyone should use this I think it is the government's job to force everyone to use this so we can all understand each other better I love the government

Too bad this isn't on Facebook yet.

If you are interested....here is a link to their website. They are offering it free for now. Even Apple supports it.....good for them, everyone needs a little sarcasm with their fruit.

Link: SarcMark

The amazing anatomy

In school I have to take a religion class....it's called Anatomy. If you have ever wondered if there is a God....there is, I know, I have seen his work, and you are carrying it around with you and using it at this very moment.

We are studying the bones in class right now, all 206 of them and each of their hundreds and hundreds of features. I have been studying them for a couple weeks and have a major test this week, but in studying them, the skull, the home for your brain, is one of the most spectacular feats in nature.

Here is a picture of the bottom of the skull:



(And yes I have to know all of these labeled things)

Take a look at it......study it for a moment.... (no really, scroll back up and just read through all the different labels)

Isn't that just amazing?!? Every single hole, every process, every protuberance every nook and cranny serves a purpose. There are tiny little holes that aren't even labeled on this diagram that little veins and muscles move through, the lymph system, the nervous system....all so you can smile, frown, think, turn your head, grow hair......amazing.

Anyone who blindly thinks this wasn't designed and created by a being higher than our own....is kidding themselves. This didn't happen because lightning struck the back of some fungus, this didn't happen because "nature" intended it to be such, it was planned, designed, and created by someone who wants us to experience what he experienced....for experience sake.

So enjoy your body, love your neighbor and go do something fun today.....cause I will be stuck in class.

The truly magical iPad

Yes folks...as many of you know know I have a new iPad. To commemorate the occasion I am writing this entire blog on the typing pad of my new favorite toy......ahem.....tool. I was considering buying a laptop for school....something I could keep all my assignments and stuff together? Most semi- decent laptops run around $600 so it was already in my budget for the school expenditures.....then along comes Apple with their new version of mobile computing......hazaah! I thought it *could* be a perfect fit for my needs.....small mobile, WI-FI....what else dies a guy need? I wasn't sold just yet.....I wanted to see it in person.

I was not so wound up about it that I went out and stood in line for one. I left that up to the die hards. I knew my boss at work had ordered one for his wife and told me he would bring it in. Monday morning came....I played with it for about 10 min before I knew it had to me mine. On lunch James and I drove down to the Gateway Apple Store and asked if they had any.....they did and I got one. This has been the best purchase I have made in a long time.

I have heard the critics.....they are stupid. They also work for that other computer company.. If you have the means I highly recommend picking one up. It has Pages (Apples non-idiot version of a word processor....the other competitor shall remain nameless) which is what I need to write papers, Internet to keep my teachers on their toes, calculator, flash card program, homework programs, scheduler, calendar and a bunch of apps that are really just for fun. It is tiny so it doesn't take up much room and it is always on so no boot time....just push a button and go.

Just like the apple guy says in the commercial.....it's truly 'magical'.

OK....to the people reading this and saying to themselves 'I don't get it'......to you I say.....trust me. It's worth getting.


Arguments

#1 - It doesn't do flash.
I say....so what? Flash isn't the only standard and probably won't be going forward.....even if it is, I am sure Apple has a back up plan....they always do. I have been crusing the web for over a week and it hasn't stopped me yet. There is some video that won't load from time to time.....didn't bug me. Plus the YouTube app got most any video I wanted anyhow.

#2 - I already have a laptop....why *should* I want this?
Seeing is believing my friend. Instead of booting up your laptop and sitting down...just grab this and go. much easier to browse the web and it is lightning fast and small enough to drop in your purse or backpack.....take that laptop.

#3 - But it is so expensive.....why would I want to pay so much for that?
Who are you kidding? It starts at $500 (which is the one I have) and it is roughly the cost of a high end iPod. I do concede that 16 Gig isn't very much space but for what I am doing with it......it's more than enough. I have dropped tons of music, pictures, apps, even video and not even filled a quarter of the space. Also true, it isn't my whole library...but do I really need my whole library with me on the go?.......I think not.

#4 - No USB port.
This one I agree with. I get the logic that as soon as you 'plug in' you are no longer mobile....however....they should have a put one on it.....ok....you got one.

#5 - No open source or multiple tasking.
HA!....thought you had me again but after yesterdays announcement about OS4 having that capability.....that one is solved.

In short.....get one....it is truly.....magical.

We have a name for our little boy

Catey and I have been through a whirlwind of decisions, what if's, emotions and heartbreak over the last week. We decided to break with tradition and let the name be known before the baby is born.

The name we have chosen for him is Samuel James Ball.

Samuel will never read this, but I would like to write this blog to him.

Samuel, your mother and I love you very much. I can't explain what that means because you will not understand until we meet you in a place where hands will work, arms will hold, minds can comprehend and eyes see and shed tears of joy. Your brothers and sisters want so badly for you to come home and grow up with them, play with them and learn life the way they have. Unfortunately you will not share those experiences in this life.

Oh how your mother and I wish to see your eyes behold the wonders of this world, the blue of the sky, the yellow and red of the warm, setting summer sun. Feel the rain on your face, play in the leaves of fall, show you the flowers as they bloom or watch you as you wander into snow for the first time. To be with you as you grow, walk, speak our names, call us when you are in need and wrap your little arms around us and kiss us goodnight or hear your first prayer.

We would love to hear you cross light-sabers in the backyard yelling and screaming playing Star Wars or Pirates with your brothers. We would give anything to hear your first laugh or console your tears as you learn to ride a bike for the first time. Your mother and I have shed many tears over the last few days, tears of sadness for these things which you won't see, experience or understand.

The pangs of this trial are seemingly too difficult to endure, and yet, strength comes from many sources, and touches us and tells us to move forward that these things we wish for you are not truly gone, but put on hold for another time....a time which seems so far away.

You have taught us so much about ourselves, what we believe, what we know, and about hope and faith I wish to thank you. I wish I could look in your eyes and express my gratitude for the lessons you are teaching us and that we are reluctantly learning. Nobody wants to learn lessons like these or understand the principles of faith behind them, however, I couldn't ask for a better teacher. Who knew a father could learn so much from a son. Even a son who will not speak, see or communicate except through raw spirit and emotion.

These lessons are difficult to bear but I am trying to be a good student. Please know we ache to hold you and simply let you know you have parents in this life who love you and only wish you had the opportunity to know them better.

Thank you Samuel.

-Dad

I caught a Hobbit!

I can't leave bad news posts up for too long.....so I thought I would post something funny today. This story comes from my Mother-In-Law (MIL) who works at a call-center for UPS here in Utah. The lady that works next to her has an adult disabled son who lives on his own but has others (and his family) check in on him from time to time to make sure he is getting his things done. He is a HUGE fan of the Lord of the Rings series. (This is important information for later.)

Last week, this lady was getting phone calls from her son:

Son: Mom.....MOM!.....I caught a Hobbit....what do I do with him?

Mom: (Thinking her son is playing a game with her) Well, son, I think you should take care of him, be nice to him, talk to him and everything will be ok. I have to get back to work.

Son: ....um......ok {Click}

20-30 minutes later he calls back

Son: Mom, Mom, Mom......my Hobbit is getting angry....what do I do.

Mom: Ok son, just take care of him, feed him something, try to keep him happy.

Son: ...but Mom, he is getting really mad, I don't know what to do...

Mom: I will come by after work and see what we can do.....

Son: Ok....but hurry. {click}

Calls like this go on throughout the day until she is off work. She leaves and heads off to her son's house.

The next day when she gets to work, my MIL asks if her son was ok. The lady puts her hand to her mouth with a *gasp* and says "You'll never believe it..."

Apparently she left work and went to her sons house. She opened the door and her son was jumping up and down in the front room pointing at the closet door yelling "I caught a Hobbit! I caught a Hobbit!"

The closet was barricaded with all the furniture he had keeping the door closed. When she asked what was in the closet, she heard banging from inside the closet. She was now very concerned what he had trapped in the closet and started to remove the furniture so she could get the door open and when it opened, there stood a little person (Midget). Shocked she asked what the heck he was doing in there!

He was a Jehovah's Witness who was out spreading the word and when he knocked on the door, the Son invited him in and asked him to stand in the closet....(why he agreed I'll never know) when he did, the Son slammed the door closed and propped it closed with a nearby chair. The poor guy had left his cell in his car so he couldn't call anyone for help. He had been trapped in there for hours.

The lady then told my MIL she started to think about the phone calls...."My Hobbit is getting really angry...."

She apologized profusely and tried to explain the situation to no avail....I guess he wants to press charges against the son for wrongful imprisonment or kidnapping or something. I hope it gets thrown out because....WHO GOES INTO SOMEONE'S HOUSE AND STANDS IN A CLOSET?!? Seriously.

Whether the Lady was telling my MIL the truth or not......it's a pretty funny story.


....I needed a good laugh today.

Our 8 Ball...

Last Thursday Catey and I went in for our routine ultrasound at 18 weeks. We found out we are having a little boy, we also found out our little boy isn't coming to us the way we thought. After 7 perfect children our little number 8 isn't so perfect....physically anyway. He has a condition called hydrocephalus or more commonly known as 'water on the brain'. In most cases, with today's medicine, once the child is born, a shunt can be placed to drain the excess water and the child will lead a pretty normal life, however, this is not the case for us.

We scheduled another appointment for today (Monday) to have a specialist review our case, take another ultrasound and see what they found, and their ultrasound confirmed the previous diagnosis.

The doctors have been very blunt (gratefully) and let us know that our prognosis is very grave and that this is a case bordering on the severe. They were very clear to make sure we understood they were not (and would not) "fill us with any false hope that this baby would have any chance for a normal life".

Over the past weekend, I have fasted and prayed, but every time I wanted to ask to have the baby be ok, it felt wrong. The only thing that felt appropriate was to fast and pray for my wife, her safety and piece of mind during this ordeal. The best example I can imagine that describes the of the pangs my heart, would be if you were to inflate a balloon in my chest to it's fullest then pop that balloon so that everything inside you collapses in on itself. It is sheer desperation, loss, void. There is no other feeling I have had like that......ever.

I have thought to ask God to remove this burden from our family, however, how does someone tell God what to do?

How do I get down on my knees to pray, and tell God what is best for me?

How do I tell him that I don't want a baby like this?

How do I (in good conscience) think to instruct him on the lessons he sees fit to teach me and my family?

Even Jesus Christ wanted his father to take his burden in the garden away, but then submitted to the will of his Father and simply asked for strength to endure.

I know this isn't what parents want.....certainly not what I would have asked for, however, I must remember that this life is a test.....a time to prepare to meet God....endure it well.

One of my favorite movies is the Muppets Christmas Carol (strange to think of that, I know) but in that rendition of Charles Dickens classic, Scrooge is shown a Christmas Future where the young Cratchit family is missing one of their own at the dinner table. Kermit (Bob Cratchit) notices the somber mood and says: "It's all right, children. Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it. I am sure that we shall never forget Tiny Tim, or this first parting that there was among us."

If that line didn't break my heart before, even thinking of it now sure does. If this baby makes it all the way to birth (which at this point is very uncertain) then it may only live a few minutes, hours or days. Maybe it will find the strength to live longer and be here a few years.....I don't know, only time will tell. Regardless of how long this son of mine is here, it is our opportunity to embrace him and give him the best possible experience while here on Earth.

Some may be focused on the burden that lies ahead, some may wallow in self-pity, Catey and I have talked and neither are the case for us. What hurts the most is hearing our kids play outside, and knowing that this sweet little boy will never have the opportunity to blast out of the door and go play with his brothers and sisters. He won't kick a soccer ball, shoot a basketball or ride a bike or skateboard with those most near and dear to him in this life......it's unfair and it hurts to unbelievable levels to think of one of your own not having those precious experiences while in this life.

We could kick and scream, break things, hurt things, hate God or blame someone or something for this, but where would that get us? Would it change anything......of course not. This is the hour when I need my God the most. I need my friends the most, I need my family, my children and my wife.....and I am grateful for all of them. We are blessed to live where we do where all of what we need is so near and dear to us.

I will end this post with one of my other favorite movie quotes: "Whenever God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." I have always believed that, I guess it is his will that I learn it first hand.

You look pale.....

Everyone knows to stay out of the sun right?

It will do permanent damage to your skin.

You will get skin cancer.

You will look aged beyond your years.

You'll for sure look like this:



Sorry for that picture......BTW....she's 28.



I'm kidding.....she's not 28....I don't know how old she is but I would run if that were coming my direction.....she resembles a zombie of sorts and I am not interested in meeting a zombie like that without my shotgun....

....but I digress.

I just don't buy it anymore. I did a little research on this a while back and it appears that the rate of skin cancer has skyrocketed. Let me throw some statistics at you....ready?


- More than half of all new cancers are skin cancers.

- More then 1.3 million new cases of skin cancer will be diagnosed in the United States in 2007, about 80 percent are basal cell carcinoma, 16 percent are squamous cell carcinoma and 4 percent are melanoma.

- In 2007, an estimated 10,000 people will die of skin cancer – 8,000 from melanoma and 2,000 from squamous cell carcinoma.

- In 2007, there will be about 53,000 new cases of melanoma – 30,000 men and 23,000 women. At current rates one in 71 Americans have a lifetime risk of developing melanoma.

- One person dies of melanoma every hour.

Disturbing right? OF COURSE IT IS....my gosh....those are horrifying stats for anyone.


Do you know when skin cancer took off and started spiking on every chart out there......late 60's. Ten years after Sunblock was mass produced with the government pounding it into us that sunblock was a necessity and everyone should start using it. First it was SPF8 then 15 then 20 then 40 or 50.

Interestingly the rate of skin cancer shadows the use of the skin care products?.......Interesting.

Did you know recent studies show we may be sunblocking (yes I used it as a verb....clever on my part I think) our way into Vitamin D deficiency which could lead to much larger problems than skin cancer?

Did you know that the government and the drug companies who produce sunblock made a secret pact with the devil to rape human existence for billions while killing themselves?

ok...I made that last one up, but seriously folks....I think we need to use the age old saying "Moderation in all things" to explain proper sun exposure.

The skin produces vitamin D.....it is built to help you (Vitamin D is a good thing). Stopping the largest organ in your body from doing what it is supposed to do just doesn't seem right. Please don't comment about your mom or dad or brothers cousins, former roommate who sat in a tanning bed and had skin cancer so bad they had to amputate his or her face......I don't want to hear it.

OF COURSE be careful in the sun....nobody wants a sunburn, and overexposure WILL do you harm. Just like too much alcohol kills your liver, staring at the sun will ruin your eyes and excessive eating will lead to overworking your heart and death. However, moderate sun exposure makes you look and feel healthy....studies show it....why would the Internet lie? Link

Get a tan....who wants to look like this:



I love Jim Gaffigan....he is funny.....he is pale.

Ask yourself, when was the last time you looked at someone and said: "Oh you look so healthy and pale....."

......never.

Since the sun is starting to come out for spring, get out there, enjoy the sun.......because you look pale.....



(***Note*** the Surgeon General does not endorse the opinions stated in this blog. The government also can neither confirm or deny any alleged agreement with certain unnamed drug companies or anyone by the name 'Lucifer', 'Satan' or 'The Devil'.)

Reality Bites

Ok, so a little update on things and I hope to be a better blogger through school over the next few years.....If you care.

I went to my orientation for school last week and they gave me my book list and cost (ready?)

$935.00....yes folks, that is just for the books.


I think college text books are a racket and should be tried for cruel and unusual punishment. They put these books out there for a year or two and then {BAM} someone else comes out with a new edition and they require everyone to get the new, newest, newer versions. Costing the students hundreds more.

Crazy....I am going to use some books for 3 months and it costs me $900+ to do that....sad very sad.

Not to mention the tuition.....for Nursing it is almost $560 per credit hour.....NOT per class.....per Credit hour. So lets do the math shall we? If my class is 4 credit hours that is $560 x 4......$2240 for the one class. I am taking 5 this first quarter. The books for that class are $400 just for the one class.

Is anyone crying out there, or am I crying alone.....{sniff}


They say (I love it when people use 'they'....who are 'they'?.....I digress) that education is worth it....it better be. I guess when I am in the ER or OR (or wherever I end up after I graduate)it will pay off and be worth it. At least I hope so for their sake....no?

Let me give you some staggering stats about nursing that I found out this week....do you know why the industry is hurting for nurses so bad? Guess what the % of people who graduate leave the field within 18 months......


....give up?


50%!! That is right folks....half. The national average of people who graduate, then leave the field within a year and a half is half.....crazy people. What kind of people want to shell out over $50K then do something else?....crazy people.

Oh well.

I feel like I am at scout camp....that first day....staring into the lake (with ice floating) that I am about to jump into, knowing it will be so cold that my brain will freeze from the outside in and my muscles will freeze and I will probably drown. Ladies, ask your husbands....they will tell you, it is terrifying.



That is me right now....scared out of my mind.

News

I am such a crappy blogger lately....lots to do, work has been busy....blah blah blah....crappy blogger, no excuses.

If you haven't heard I was accepted to nursing school and I start in one month. They had over 100 applicants for 12 spots, I got one of them....lucky I guess. Hopefully I can secure the funding so it won't all be for naught.

If I do get the funding, after the next 24 months, I will be a real-live RN...like giving people shots, patching them up in the ER.....crazy. No doubt I will love it, but really it seem surreal right now.

They are moving us at work from one office building to another. They did this two years ago, now they are moving us back. They put me right outside the CEO/Vice President's office.....hahaha.....what were they thinking?

I think I am going to put a 20' mirror ball above my desk and shine a spotlight on it from time to time....just to make sure they know I am there. Sound fun?

Can I vent for a min (of course I can....who am I kidding, this is MY blog)....I hate corporate America. (Does anyone love it?)





That's it, that is my vent for now.



I would like to vent about a lot of things but I think I will use that 'internal filter' that everyone seems to think I don't have and not say anything.....

....to be continued?

(p.s. I am back on Facebook, cause I like to waste time like that)

Out of my league

I married out of my league.....really I did. I say and do things that make Catey crazy and she puts up with me. She is patient and understanding of me and my quirks.

Just thought I would blog about my wife and how wonderful she is.

"Man Made...."

I said there would be more....this is my big giant laugh at all those out there that banged the global warming / man-made climate change drum....


You're washed up...you're had (ahem).........morons.


I told you I told you I told you. (Didn't I tell you?)....why....yes I did.

This whole thing has been a sham from the beginning and I knew it.

Frauds...all of them.

(Man that feels good.)

I do maintain that we need to find more efficient ways of travel, try to conserve more and recycle what we can to use, reuse and use up before we seek for more resources. I believe in the "leaving only footprints and taking only pictures" mentality and hope we continue the strides we have made in the last 20 years to get closer to that, however, we don't need to scare the heck out of everyone in the process.

Glad someone else is running the 'real' show and not people like Al Gore.

Poor Al....I'm gonna miss him.......who will I make fun of next?

Blogging was so last year.....

I can't believe how much time has flown by since my last blog post....much has happened.

#1 - I finished my CNA and my application to school...I will find out in a couple weeks if I have been accepted...I will let you know.

#2 - Catey is expecting (We knew but didn't say for a while because you know.....women don't want to tell anyone....not sure why)

#3 - Dallin is now 5 years old.....wow......5...

#4 - I was MC at a ward Valentines dance and it was a lot of fun.....for those who stayed to dance.

#5 - I have a balloon hovering over a fan at my desk....makes me laugh.

#6 - I have never heard of Craig Ferguson....but he is really funny.


More to follow...

Seriously funny thing happened this weekend.....

I have a friend at work (shocking isn't it) and his name is Robbie. Most of you know his quippy comments on my blog and have asked him to be blocked....haha. No way.

I just delete the ones I don't want anyone to read.


......anyway.


Something funny happened to HIM this weekend that just made me laugh right out loud.

He and his wife will use their Tivo to watch movies they record when they can't watch them. He saw the movie "The Devil Wears Prada" and thought "My wife likes that show, I will record it for her."



This weekend they sat down to watch the movie and when he turned it on, two naked women showed up on the screen. Shocked and in horror with his kids and wife there, he stopped the show and checked the title again to make sure he had recorded the correct show.

He recorded "The Devil Wears Nada" instead of "The Devil Wears Prada".

THAT was funny Robbie. You know what they say about those who live by the sword right? He later said "I thought it was supposed to star Meryl Streep, not Meryl Strip".


HAHAHAHA


HAHA

HA

{snicker}

HAHA

Starting today

Yesterday was the last day I am going to see my kids for a week. I will see them again on Sat and Sunday but then I won't see them again the next week either.

Starting school for my CNA today and thanks to a supporting wife I am not scared for this....just want to do well.

Wish me luck.

What people think

I have to submit three professional references in my application to school. It is interesting what happens when you ask someone to review your work and who they are. To make matters worse, I don't even get to see them. They have to be directly emailed or delivered in a sealed envelope with a signature on the seal.

Why am I nervous?

I don't know.

I feel I do good work and present myself well, but why am I tingling with fear about what they might say? Is it because deep down I have confidence issues? I fear (with dark trepidation) rejection?

I don't know....I just don't know.

I really want to get into school this next starting quarter but they are only taking 12 applicants and they usually have 80 or more students apply for the course.

........praying with faith........

Six Demon Bag Project

As I mentioned in my earlier post today.....Chris and I (really just me) have started working on memories of our childhood on the Six Demon Bag blog. If anyone out there remembers stories of us....please email me and I will post it (yes, even if it is embarrassing to either of us....which generally means me.)

Here is the link:

Six Demon Bag

Send me an email at aatball@gmail.com

Great blog about me.....

My best friend Chris blogged about me. You can read it here. His blog is so great it makes me vomit rainbows....

He has always been there, when times are good and when they were bad. Our lives read more like the parents guide to "What your kids do that they will never tell you".

We (and when I say 'we' I mean I) started a blog called the "Six Demon Bag"......(you had to be there, but it's a line from "Big Trouble In Little China"....best Kurt Russell movie ever) where we began to chronicle all the stories but I can't get him to go out there and expound on the stories. I have pages of memories just jotted down where he can fill in the blanks and then I can give my side.

Everyone go to his blog, post on the blog he wrote about me and tell him to get on it and get writing on the other blog so we can sell our story to Disney / Pixar and Jerry Brickheimer

.....seriously.

I know what I want to be when I grow up

It has been a whirlwind, crazy bunch of weeks all rolled into one at our house. Without boring you with the details of how I got to this decision, I finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up....I am going back to school to be a nurse.

Yes.....laugh it up but seriously, I am going to be a nurse.

My long-term goal is to become a nurse anesthetist but the shorter term goal is to finish my CNA (starting on the 18th) then apply for school. That is as far as I can hope to do for now but I am changing professions.

Catey is thrilled and is fully behind me which is comforting because going back to school is scary for me. Gratefully (if I get accepted) I can attend school at night and still work during the day. The kids are getting old enough to really help out while I will be gone to school over the next 24 months.

It seems strange to go back to school for an associates (RN) when I have a bachelors, however, when I get out of school, I will already have my bachelors and could go on right to a masters. I wish I would have figured this out years ago, but I think the timing is right since the kids are now getting functional.....well, at least semi-functional.

I am really nervous but excited. A friend of mine asked me if I really wanted to be up to my elbows in poop, pee and blood all day and I asked him if he had ever been to my house.....That is what I do, might as well get PAID to do it right?

But it's more than just comedy. I have always moved from job to job....this is a career I can move toward. Yes, I am late in the game, but I am moving in a good direction I think.....maybe....

{so....scared.....}

p.s.

I was going to try and find a fun picture to put up on the blog to go along with this....but I googled images of 'nurse' and didn't get what I was expecting.....I hope I still have a job after those images appeared on my screen.